Desire Of My Soul

Running Deep: Tightrope Walker

Come up to the mountain and stay there. God said that to Moses. But what does that mean for you and me? A lot, as it happens. Like listening, obeying, waiting . . . and possibly some spiritual tightrope-walking to boot.


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Sswimming in God’s murmuring deep . . . that’s the real desire. Speaking with Him soul to soul. Listening for our Redeemer’s stilled, small voice.


But I’ll be honest—there’s a cost. A wrestling within. An off-the-grid trek. Taking you beyond your version of things to a place guaranteed to ruffle your comfy feathers.


When His voice calls you to go higher so you can go deeper, it’s not about pitching your tent in the lower mountain places. Because a change in the physical moves the spiritual . . . and a shift in the spiritual births breakthrough in the physical.

Soaking in His presence is the launching pad: separating time (marking it as holy, set apart for Him) , moving away from the world’s noisy, pushy, self-focused gravitational pull, so you can drink in God’s ways, and then drink in, drink in, and drink in even more.


Here’s a quick story of what my friends and I experienced via a surprising God-move that caused us to wrestle through the process as it took us individually to new territory in Him.





The Lord had led three of my friends and me on a joint spiritual journey a ways back—in a year filled with steeped-in-His-presence lessons that, personally speaking, catapulted my walk into new directions on many levels.


It all started with our hanging out at His well (in prayer, seeking His face, desiring to go deeper). Although we had different backgrounds and approaches, we were one in Messiah, Jesus, honoring God and His Word.


We had agreed to meet weekly via phone for prayer and subsequent God-called fasts. The actual parameters of each fast differed and intensified per the individual intercessor—but the leading of the “when” and the “how long” always fell in absolute unison.


The Lord had impressed on me that parts of my fast would last more than an appointed number of days—they would become integral to my way of life going forward.


Throughout that first year, we had ascended from group prayer time to a higher level of God-led intercession and onto prophetic intercession, visions or words given, hearing His voice of what to say or do (or not) as we spiritually swam in His murmuring deep.


Adonai said to Moses, “Come up to me on the mountain

and wait there . . . Then Moses went up the mountain,

and the cloud covered the mountain. —Exodus 24:12-15


Key point: Trust God to steady your walk on those faith-led high wire paths. Listen to Him—obedience is birthed out of love for Him . . . and forges a closer relationship with Him.





On May 25, 2009, we’d entered our regular time for intercession via phone. But there was nothing typical about this special God encounter.


We started with worship and praise as individually led.


But then . . . without any of us discussing it or sharing what we were experiencing at that moment, we simultaneously entered a stillness.


Not a word voiced.


His Spirit had fallen over us, silenced us, and impressed on us individually not to speak.


My soul, wait in silence for God alone,

because my hope comes from him.Psalm 62:5(6).


We’d learned from prior group experiences to hear and heed. And now we were taking a mini test.


Would we obey even if we felt the need in the natural to speak or explain? I have to tell you, despite prior learning to follow His lead, my mind still had moments of wondering . . .


Am I the only one hearing this? (Nope, as it turned out.)

Did my phone drop the call? (Not in the least.)

Should I explain what He’s directing me to do? (Nope again . . . this was a faith test for each of us.)


Despite each question I wrestled with in the natural, my soul was at peace with the stillness, marveling at it and sensing things from Him through it. And He assured me, impressing on me to not be concerned about explaining things to the others but to remain silent, still, and wait.


At one point, the Lord highlighted my dog, a sweet-but-feisty English Cocker (Avigail) who was lying calmly at my feet through it all. God was affirming His lesson . . . just relax, trustfully wait, rest in Him, something like the restful devotion my dog was giving me.


At first, I wrestled against natural inclinations and waited (and then waited even more), humbled by His His divine royalty, powerful presence, authority, and love.


Three to three-and-a half hours later . . . He lifted the silence.




We all had remained on the phone in obedient stillness, not knowing what our intercessory partners were thinking, doing, or if they had hung up or given up.


All we had was our personal command for silence before Him. The wrestling through it all was similar, but the lessons may have been different.


Why three plus hours? Don’t know. But what I can share is two things.


We had transitioned into a whole new level.

No longer pitching our tent in the low places.

We were learning (by His grace) to go farther up the mountain.

Closer to Him, deeper in Him, trusting the climb.

Trusting the silence, the unexplainable, the waiting . . .

Obediently resting in His Presence,

in His holy bridal chamber.


HE alone is KING . . . the GREAT I AM.

HE always WAS and always WILL BE.




After the Lord had broken the silence, my intercessory partners immediately asked, “What was that?” and started sharing the experiences and wrestlings they’d had during the wait.


Here’s what God had imparted to me during those hours and what I basically had shared with them:


He is King. K-I-N-G. Yes, we have access to His Holy throne room through our Messiah—but He wanted to take us to another level of His Lordship, majestic royalty . . . not move in presumption.


Similar to ancient days of earthly kingships, He wanted us to bow to His Lordship and obey . . . speaking only when He, the King, directed. And in that time of silently waiting for His nod to speak, we were to rest attentively to hear His voice within our souls.


How does that roll? Well, if you’re willing to surrender to His lead to get your spiritual ears recalibrated, there will be times when He’ll direct you to sit before Him and learn by just being in His Presence.


Other times, He’ll direct you to only worship Him—no prayer lists, not even a deeper-level intercession. But what songs would He like to hear—something honest and spontaneous from your soul, a melody from His heart to yours, or a worship song you often sing?


Or He may not want songs or soulful melodies but instead desire praise and thanksgiving. Or He could lead you into intercession where you’ll speak His Words, often praying from scripture, doing battle on behalf of others, world events, things to come according to what He is showing you.


There will be times for prayer lists/requests/concerns, but He just might want you to set all that aside, trusting that He knows the list, and instead go higher on the mountain, spending that time solely loving on Him.



Woman with backpack facing wilderness mountains by Jason Blackeye on

Feet on a tightrope photo by Barguti on iStock (Stock photo ID:158772733)

Whisper photo by Kristina Flour on


[Expanded from a 2009 post about Feasting within the Fast; re-published 2022.]

Running Deep: The Fast

Fasting is for the spiritual adventurist, the lead-me-beyond-myself faith-walker.


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Fasting is a matter of turning down the world’s noise and tuning into God. It’s not about a bunch of man-made religious rules and regulations.


It’s about love. Love for Him and a soul desire to go deeper, press further, forsaking other “stuff” for the privilege of encountering Him in a hidden, holy place.


A place not tethered to this physical world with its distractions, clamoring demands and earthbound desires where your soul’s senses—hearing, sight, feeling, smell, taste, spiritual discernment—are sharpened and fine-tuned to God.


That’s where prophetic intercession begins. A God-directed, God-appointed prayer-fasting dimension fused with faith to war against principalities, break strongholds, unhinge spiritual prison doors, and cast out demonic interference.


All by God’s lead, command, and authority filtered through you (His servant) for His glory.


Welcome to shift territory. Shifts in you, in others, in situations. It’s what the whole Jacob’s ladder and Messianic heaven-and-earth connection—and Isaiah 58 (God’s chosen fast directives)—are made of.


In other words, fasting isn’t focused merely on what you’re not doing (not eating, not watching TV, not shopping or whatever else you’ve forfeited for a period), but on action, what you are doing. In both the spiritual and natural realms.


For sure, the initial action is quieting your soul, climbing into the crevices of His Word to excavate new treasures, worshiping Him and journeying into deeper intercession.


But it’s more than bunkering up in your prayer closet for the duration. In fact, it’s the rest of the story that apparently attracts God’s attention and ignites change.


When I wept in my soul with fasting . . .(Psalm 69:10a NASB).




God lays down the parameters of what He considers a holy fast—and what falls short. Just look at Isaiah 58:4 (NLT excerpts).



What good is fasting when you keep on fighting and quarreling?

This kind of fasting will never get you anywhere with me.

You humble yourselves by going through the motions of penance

bowing your heads like reeds bending in the wind . . .

covering yourselves with ashes.

Is this what you call fasting?



The answer is a flat no.


The fast God wants—the kind of fast that reflects His heart—is as much bold and courageous in the battle but also humble, honest, and serving Him and others. Like when Jesus washed the disciples feet.


Translation: Get your mind on heaven. There’s work to be done in this late hour. Clean the slate and confess your sins before Him. As much as possible, get things reconciled with others.


Doggedly seek His heart on situations, and do battle on behalf of others, not just yourself. Remember, this the enemy’s battle is raging on—and escalating.


This is the fast God wants . . .

Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;

lighten the burden of those who work for you.

Let the oppressed go free,

and remove the chains that bind people.

Share your food with the hungry,

and give shelter to the homeless

Give clothes to those who need them

and do not hide from relatives who need your help.

Isaiah 58:6-7 (NLT)




Preparing for and during your fast . . .


1. justice—release those wrongly bound . . . even those who are bound-up in situations because of your prior actions, words, offenses . . . or those who are bound by the enemy and need the Word and intercessory prayer to free them.


2. freedom—lift those from servitude, usury oppression and break every heavy yoke . . . even the yoke of false accusations and slander from your lips.


3. generosity—meet the needs of people in trouble and fulfill your duty to your community, even by feeding your neighbors or the poor, by clothing those who need it or by volunteering in an outreach to help others. Bless someone during the fast using the money you would have spent on meals.


When you take passionate action during a part of your fast time to actualize the things that are tender to His heart, people are freed, saved, released, blessed, healed, fed, clothed, transformed.


Here’s His promise, per Isaiah 58, if you walk in His chosen fast . . .


1. spiritual growth—His light within you will burst forth, your previous gloom/worries will be replaced with His joy, truth, understanding.


2. healing—newness will replace those old wounds (emotional, spiritual, physical) and His strength within you will be renewed.


3. well-guarded—His glory will follow you, guide you and satisfy your needs even in the desert, your personal wilderness. When you call out, He will answer, “Here I am.”


4. spiritually nourished—your soul will be like a watered garden, a spring that never fails because His living water is flowing over you. Better able to hear His voice, His heart on a matter, how to spiritually battle in intercession on behalf of the oppressed.


5. warrior-strong—your soul will be readied with His strength, His leading, His desire to rebuild (restore) those ruins in your life and those He put before you in prayer and in person, repairing spiritually broken walls, restoring every nook and cranny so every soul can stand on His foundations, freed from the enemy’s grip to serve and worship the Lord and fulfill His determined purpose for their life in Him.




So you’re called to step into a holy fast? Excellent.


1. Be prepared to battle in prayer . . . and elsewhere.


2. Consider seeking the Lord for a trusted prayer-fasting warrior to partner with you in the fight. Moses had Joshua. Jeremiah had Baruch. Paul had Barnabas.


3. Expect to evidence change, be changed, and encounter His Holiness. God, in His amazing kindness, lifts you up from the mundane, the tangible, and reveals words of wisdom or knowledge, helping you see (discern) within and without.



Backpacked girl facing mountainous region by Jason Blackeye on


[Expanded from a 2009 post of same title]

Journey on